1) Alabama vs. Georgia State in Tuscaloosa
Storyline: Defending National Champion Alabama taking on FCS (Division 1-AA) and 1st Year of Football Georgia State University coached by former 'Bama head man Bill Curry? Are you kidding me? Hotels within a 150 radius of Tuscaloosa have been sold out for this one since May.
Prediction: Bama is caught looking ahead to the Auburn game and only wins by 47. Tide fans go home disappointed that only two GSU kids were removed from field by stretcher.
2) Ohio State vs. Eastern Michigan in Columbus
Storyline: Big 10 favorites welcome the former Hurons to the Horseshoe, a ragtag squad coming off a winless season in 2009 and staring down a Xerox'd campaign for 2010. HC Ron English used to coach the Defense at Michigan, so the Bucks will see this as another opportunity to tangentially embarrass that team up north yet again (though obviously will not utilize foreign words like tangentially).
Prediction: Tyrelle Pryor’s gigantic ears (long striders, those things) score twice helping the bucks cover the 38 point spread.
3) Wisconsin vs. Austin Peay in Madison
Storyline: 90,000 Badger fans google “Ausin Peay” to find out just where in the hell AP is located, and then, upon getting their answer, rub it in their cousin Brett’s face over a Lienenkugels. “See, I told you it wasn’t Canadian, jerk wad.”
Prediction: John Clay breaks single season rushing record in 2nd quarter on 6 carries.
4) Texas Tech vs. Weber State in Lubbock
Storyline: No Leach. No Problem. College Gameday has their eye on this one as Tommy Tubberville has a chance to flex his muscles against a non-con powerhouse the likes of which he used to line up at Auburn.
Prediction: TT wins by 71. Tubberville immediately proceeds to bitch and moan about the injustice of the BCS system.
5) Kansas vs. North Dakota State in Lawrence
Storyline: Not to be outdone by that hillbilly in Lubbock, Bill Snyder has lined a typical Snyderville-esque non-con opponent.
Prediction: Synder enters the game as the face of all retirement age jackasses and comes out of this contest with that brand still intact.
6) Virginia Tech vs. James Madison in Blacksburg
Storyline: As Dolly Madison University wasn’t available, the Hokies went straight to fellow cupcake opponent and husband school James.
Prediction: If VaTech is coming off a loss to Boise State, this will be really ugly. Alternatively, if VaTech is coming off a win over Boise State, this will be really ugly.7) Duke vs. Elon in Durham
Storyline: I once saw Elon on a Parisian catwalk. This was just after her 7th Cosmo cover. Didn’t think she could look better in person. Wrong.
Prediction: Duke sells no tickets to this game and allows no media through the gates. It didn’t happen if no no one saw it.
8) Florida State vs. Samford in Tallahassee
Storyline: New head coach Jimbo Fisher provided some bill board material when he said he couldn’t wait for that smart ass Jim Harbaugh to bring his team into Tallahassee. When told that the Noles were playing Samford, not Stamford, Fisher rolled with it. “Just as I thought, the chicken shit.”
Prediction: Christians on Samford's squad Ponder why the school ever agreed to play this game. Get it? Christians Ponder? Excuse me while I ROFL. I kill me.
9) Wake Forest vs. Presbyterian in Winston-Salem
Storyline: Wake has played Presbyterian 10 times in their history and holds a slim 5-4-1 advantage. Looking good there, Wake.
Prediction: Unitarian, Zorastrian, and Rastafari Universities all consider trekking to NC for the payday for future schedules.
10) Washington State vs. Montana State in Pullman
Storyline: Stoppable force meets moveable object. Who is who? Who the hell knows? That’s the beauty of this tilt.
Prediction: Of the dozens of people in attendance, 90% will be wearing some piece of clothing from REI.
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