Once again, an "old money" major conference is having issues with the noveau riche aspects of college football. This time its not the Big Ten but its the Big Ten's more attractive cousin, the PAC Ten. A recent conversation between Jim Delaney and Tom Hansen(Pac-10 commish) went something like this:
Hansen: First those thugs from Miami now those God damn internet Millionares (Texas, Louisville and Florida) are destroying the flawless system we had in place.
Delaney: Tell me about it. All they do is bitch about how tough their conferences are. Then, they kick our ass in championship games.
Delaney: They keep exposing us. Especially those mother F*#ckers in Gainesville. I don't know who they think they are. They forget who the blue bloods are.
Hansen: Oh yeah, the first thing I think of, when I see 90,000 blue collar Ohioans masturbating to a guy in a Beret dotting an I, is blue-blood.
Delaney: Are you being sarcastic.
Hansen: No really, West Lafayette, the Metro-dome, and grown men wearing corn fed shirts and overalls screams blue blood.
Delaney: Screw you, you west coast fag. Why don't you go sip on a Latte and start another hippie revolution. Those hippies in Berkley really accomplished a great deal .
Hansen: At least my region isn't referred to as the "Rust belt."
Delaney: At least one of our most storied campuses isn't in South Central LA.
Hansen: I thought we were friends. I thought we were in on this together. Why don't you just go and keep securing bowl tie-ins with of those illiterate redneck schools from the SEC.
Delaney: Is that what this is all about.....Bowl Tie-ins.
Hansen: I feel like your Big Ten schools don't come over and play anymore. I just want things to be like they used to be when College football was only about USC, Notre Dame, Michigan and Ohio State.
Delaney:The Sec is where the money is at. They bring their whole F*#cking redneck states to their bowl games. Not to mention those coaching contracts. I'm sorry Tom but UCLA, Cal and Stanford are so 1983 that I'm embarrassed to play them.
Hansen: You can go to hell. The Rose bowl is ours and will always be ours. We only invited you guys because you had cool helmets and cheesy trophies.
2 comments:
Yes, they forget that the SEC had even older money than the hogs-cereal-railroad-auto barons of the Big and Pac Tens: Confederate money. Unfortunately, that currency was devalued in the 1860's, and doesn't buy many recruits now. Why they continue to pine for the Grandaddy of 'em All is beyond me, especially when it could feature Wake Forest v. Louisville. I know Delany and Hansen (weren't they a soft-rock act in the '70's? I seem to remember them opening for Firefall) would love nothing more than USC-Ohio St/Michigan in the Rose Bowl every year. Then, 'SC can win and the Buckerines can complain about how it's a home game for the Pac-10. Thus, tradition will be preserved. Also, isn't the Pac-10 threat to pull out of the BCS if it goes to a plus-1 system a bit like Freddie Couples suggesting a "Tiger-free" tour a few years back?
The Big 8 had no problem letting go of their annual ass whoopings to Miami in the Orange,the SEC had no problem letting go of New Orleans, the ACC had no problems letting go of...actually, I can't think of any ACC bowl tradition other playing in bowls sponsored by auto parts companies. By the way Tim, conferdate money will not buy recruits but it will get you a ton of ass in places like Charleston, Savannah and within certain circles of Atlanta.
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